I have been madly planning Travel Charm’s Girl’s Weekends Away. Although a lot of hard work – I love it. I love to immerse myself in the feeling of being in a place, what it’s like to explore, to imagine the feeling, the atmosphere.
Then I work out the things that would make it special for someone, the things that will mean something, little gestures that will make someone feel spoilt, feel special, worthwhile.
And then I started thinking about how we spoil ourselves. Or do we?
I know I hardly ever did, once upon a time in another life. Spare money was for spoiling the kids, time out never really worked because there was always someone pestering you to ask you something (because apparently at that particular time you are the most knowledgeable, needed, capable person on the planet!!) so I think I just gave up.
If I had nice things given to me like a candle, it was kept for a special time. And guess what? Surprise, Surprise that special time never came.
I feel the same way about travel and experiences. If the opportunity comes to take off somewhere or to do something a little different I go for it.
How many of us do this?
We only use the good plates for special occasions, we only burn the amazingly scented candles at “special” times, the nice “stuff” is always for another time. Because apparently, it will be so worthwhile. Mean so much more.
Well, I’m telling you it’s not. Build up too much expectation for anything and it will never live up to it.
But what if you do the unimaginable?
What about if you enjoyed that treat all the time? Why do we think that we are not special enough “all the time”?
We are. We all deserve to enjoy our beautiful things, treat ourselves and demand “you” time as much as we want.
If we don’t treat ourselves in such a way that says we are worth it what are we telling everyone else?
And then we wonder why others treat us poorly. Don’t respect our feelings or our space, don’t do nice things for us.
I have changed a lot in the last few years, and now it is a priority to treat myself well. It has taken a long time to not feel guilty about it, not to feel selfish.
I think these thoughts are ingrained in women – not sure why, maybe our upbringing, society – probably a combination of all those plus more.
My treats, or travel, don’t take away from anyone else. I realised they are not selfish.
I buy soap I love, that is luxurious and indulgent, and use it every day. It’s a little expensive but so lovely. I have a little vase next to my bed that occasionally has flowers from my garden in it. I have a small scented candle there as well and occasionally light it when I am reading in bed.
I buy for myself flowers every week simply because I love them. I burn my beautiful candle bought from my favourite shop every night. I have used the crockery I absolutely love so now it is well worn and chipped. I will buy more when I find something else to take its place – the only condition will be that I love it.
I go away with friends or plan that trip because I come back a better person for the experience. I no longer keep things for special occasions because every day is a special occasion.
Every day I smile at one of these things, every day something makes me feel good even in some small tiny way. And I have come to learn that “one day” may never come and certainly not in the form that you had imagined, so today is that day.
Every day is special because it is our life and I think we forget that the beauty and joy in life not only comes from major special events but from small, deliciously beautiful moments we find in the everyday.
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